Shanna Katz: Intro to Femme Cock

What's hotter than a dyke with a nice, big silicone cock packed down the leg of her pants?

How about a femme with a nice, big silicone cock ready and waiting under her skirt!

There is a huge misconception in our community that you have to be butch, genderqueer, androgynous, or masculine presenting in some way in order to pack, or strap it on. From assumptions about who takes on what role during sex to jokes about “butch in the streets, femme in the sheets” (implying that it is femme to be penetrated and butch to be strapped-on), our culture is ripe with stereotypes about femininity and cock.

Good news; femme cock has reared its sexy head, and is here to stay. Femmes all over the world are strapping it on proudly, and giving their partners the rides of their lives. There's nothing quite like a color-coordinated lady in nothing but earrings, a harness and a dildo – all matching, of course.

What does it take to harness the power of the femme cock? It depends on what you're wanting to do with it. Let's talk packing first.

We actually have it easier than some of the bois – boxers can be hard to just stick something in and expect it to stay. However, most semi to full coverage ladies underwear (bikini cut, briefs, boy shorts, etc) are perfect for packing. Whether you go old school and just put a bunch of socks in there, or you go all out and purchase a Mr. Limpy or Mr. Right, it should fit in your undergarment with relative ease. Or if you choose to wear something a bit more flimsy (thongs, g-strings) or wear nothing at all, you can always get the packing strap from Aslan, or create you own. Just remember to dress how YOU feel comfortable, whether that is a skirt, slacks, jeans or a dress. Ready to power it on? Just press up against your partner so they can feel what you're packing and note their reaction to what you've got under your skirt.

Yes, you can pack and/or strap it on under a dress/skirt. If you want to go a little more incognito with your femme cock, we suggest a more 50's style dress that flares out a bit, or an 80's style with multiple ruffles, in order to keep your package hidden. On the other hand, if you want to flaunt it, there is nothing like a little bulge under a skin-tight mini skirt to imply to your partner exactly what you're going to be doing to them shortly. If you're headed to the movies or dinner, a skirt is the perfect way to provide easy access to your cock – just have them slip their hand up your leg and voila.

As far as strapping it on, again, make sure YOU feel comfortable. There are several stylish harnesses that come in many sizes, shapes, styles and colors. Personally, I feel partial to the Syd from Outlaw (for my punk rock femme side), any of the Aslan vinyl sparkly harnesses (for my Wonder Woman glittery super hero side), and the Joque by Spareparts (for my no-nonsense, comfortable, I want it machine-washable side). These are by far not the only brands that make harnesses; you can get very affordable ones at almost any toy store, and even find customizable ones online.

Harnesses can be worn on their own, or over your underwear (if you're not planning on being fucked, or are ok with having them ripped off later). They should ride fairly low yet tightly on your hips, and the ring in front should sit between your pelvic bone and your clit – that's where the cock is going to go.

When choosing your cock, you've got to think two-fold. Firstly, what do YOU want in your cock? What makes you feel sexy, powerful, erotic? Is it a color (red, black, purple, sparkles)? A shape? A size? Do you want one with a vibrator at the base, or no vibe at all? Which cock calls to you? On the other hand, it's also important to think about your partner. Do they need something smaller, or crave something larger? Are they hungry for length, or wild about width?

Remember, you can always get bigger later on, and leave them wanting more right now. If you're huge to start with, it's much more difficult to shrink down mid-fuck. However, if they're a size queen, perhaps the Vixen Outlaw or Randy is for you! If you get a thicker cock, make sure it'll fit in your harness first. While O-rings are adjustable, you can't put in a larger cock if the hole itself is smaller than the diameter of your new friend.

How to rock the femme cock?

Rule number one; you ARE sexy. Period. Cock or not, no matter what you're wearing, or who you're with, remember that you are one sexy lady.

Some people find that when they strap it on, their center of gravity changes due to the cock. This may or may not be the case.

Cocks need love too; let your partner know that it's hot to get a blow job from them, and that stimulation of the cock (hand job, blow job, fucking, etc) can go right through to your clit, which feels good.

It's ok to be silly. Shake it all around, wave it in someone's face, give it a funny voice. Cocks are fun, and it's perfectly acceptable to be silly around and with your new appendage. Sex should be fun.

So take some of these tips, pack it in, strap in on, and get ready to rock the world with your femme cock. Cock; it's not just for butch dykes anymore!

Shanna Katz is a queer, kinky femme who writes under the pen name Essin' Em. Involved in sex education from safer sex 101 to fisting classes, and so much inbetween, she enjoys helping people open their eyes to the amazing spectrum of sexuality. In addition to her classes and workshops, she also runs a sexuality blog, writes for various sex/uality oriented sites, and works as Fascinations' Resident Sex Educator. With a Master's in Human Sexuality Education and as a member of the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, she spreads her love of positive sexuality all over the country. Currently, she resides in Phoenix with her partner, and their three rescused cats; Kinsey, Kali and Jasper.